HUMPY TITTY BOYS

You know when you question the past and talk about the present and not so bygone past.
AND you talk about it a lot.
It's BEAUTIFUL in your head.
You notice all ya wanna.........you're READY for certain things.
EXPECTING sometimes....and then you realise u're the only one.
That nothing was ever 'beautiful'.
That you want to believe you're better than that but YODA (aka jobless german man) was right all along-deep inside we're all the same.
I feel annoyed and irritated. Humiliated even.
AND then u're EXPECTED to feel happy and flattered that atleast u're cooler to hang out with than most of your friends. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT.
Then all assholic personalities act like the perfect man in front of your friends.
Like they are worth it.
The same damn identity crisis comes up.
I hate the feeling of trying to proove or SHOW where im coming from is different.
NO ONE should be made to feel like that.
THATS WHY I LIKE JOBLESS GERMAN MEN MORE.
because the next of kin is HORNY TRASH....MENTALLY....and then not even.
I guess they make me feel like that because of WHATS INSIDE OF ME.
hehehehehe.......same old bullshit.

Baby you're the WRONGEST kind of wrong!

YES-thats what happens when random jobless german men visit www.tsrs.org

To all of youuu....who are lied to....

Who is ANYONE to come between those who love or those who make love?
I think its bullshit when people say stuff like-lay off my 'man' and that you should never fall for your friend's-
'man'
'ex-man'
'wannabe man'
Who is the friend to choose or decide for the man?
I my friends am the friend.

vanda-remember when the legendary wonderboy started dating man eater
and colony man that wide-assed bitch
and harvard hottie man eater as wellll....

and i said what i said
well its happening again-only on another level..
and it includes the last base.

miss y'all....long distance readers.

PETRIFIED

The whole world collectively suffers from low self esteem...everyone I speak to doesnt realise how awesome they are. Then I go and tell them the exact same thing. Like two non fat people who keep telling the other that they are not fat because both think they are bigger than the other.
Really cool people living life believing that they are the 'geek' when in fact I know for a fact that for some people they are a 'hero'
'-}
I am the last one left now ..... our collective dreams have come true for my close clique, all but me and one more person. I love that person BUT for once I feel superior. I cannot believe that this feeling that I have been warding off for years-the fear that drives me...the fear of failure, public humiliation and finishing last-its happening!
Whats the point???
Just like a wiseass says "no scope"
ooops-now we sound like EVERYONE.

original PRANKster yeahhh!

I have different views on people everyday which leads to responses such as...

"ok...ill listen to the dirty conjuse boys sexy voice!"

THEN i realise that people who havent met my other people dont get what my other ppl are all about or completely misjudge them with my accounts of em.

The little LOU loo show!

I feel like scraping this whole blog-as a very close friend who knows me very very well and thus calls me the 'thinker' (as opposed to popular belief especially from certain flatmate boy) said-
"Oh-your blog is so not you-sounds like someone else-i expected urs to be funnier-this is like someone else-not you"
Then I thought 'why?'
BECAUSE of the whole stage fright thing, not being able to be myself in front of an audience. Self consciousness etc.
SO people I am shy in my cybescape as wellll
and an eventually to be god mother.........aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:-}
when my cousin gets married and has a kid....lol

B(brrrrrrr)rixton

Went to college for half an hour, ran up stairs with first person I ever fell for in Londontown, listened to tutor with shrewish voice.
Sucha sad sad choice to choose from...permanent ear damage or dyslexic reading!
NO offence to all people dyslexic....

SOME people just do not get bad vibes. Not speaking to them, not saying "hi" not saying "bye" its all the same damn thing.

I will be calm, composed and neutral.
I will dream of deedee's pasta....mmmmm.
I will not let certain female people get to me.
I will survive:-}

The chic ya love to pick on:-{}

Life is much better when you dont have an escape.
I possibly only say this as the thing I used to escape is not a world issue-its just college.
I share a hate hate relationship with the boy who wellll....is well bred with no manners.
But then again you can only be used if u let yourself be used....as is so easy to say.

On a serious note..college can be lovable if you give it a chance.

I love london transport:-}

I love you my feelings vomit bucket...thank youuuu!

ANTI SOCIALNESS

It's very odd when u're told 4-5 times a day-"Thats exactly what i was thinking as well" when im helping people sort out their problems. BUT AT THE SAME TIME not know what Im thinking!
I am feeling oddly anti-social.
Oddly homesick.
THE feelings are trying to fight their way out....I have never dealt with this kind of situation before. I have never felt this before.
AAARGH!

KIMCHI WEEDS

"Thats so stupid (name), if its in there, take it out-what else are you supposed to do with it.......jesus!"
NOW THAT feels like shit when it is said to you-about clogged drains.
Like im some kind of bimbo housekeeper.
WELLL-excuse me if I dont know how to un-clog drains or I dont want to touch whatever shit is in there.

The boy on the tube was another one of those so intense with so little connections....like 'danda' would say "Shes gonna be my wife-she just doesnt know it yet." Of course with reversed gender.

I NEVER knew before today how it is nice to have good old slightly embarrassig indians around...and how I can totally relate to them.

I also learnt that nice memories in retrospect are flawless and then it's lame to remember because its never like it actually was.
I still think its retarded to watch english movies with subtitles and its a relief to know that somebody gets it:-}
I am now oficially enrolled!
TOMORROW I will study.....alas! Again!

London Underground OBSESSION

I just dont get it!
What is it with the english and the tube???
Being in art college is like doing a phd on the god damn trains without wanting to.
EVERY project-even ones that have NOTHING to do with travel etc has SOME tfl interpretation or the other.
IM SO SICK OF IT.

Speaking of which, I willingly used the tube myself today and it was waayyyy quicker than the scenic bus.
I am all inspired now to work and get my act together BUT its very late as usual...sleeepy.

I dont like the silent insinuation abt me and a certain somebody-and the knowing smiles shared between all of those who suspect. It's not true....(hint hint zpw)

As far as the progression of the year is concerned, I guess everything automatically fell into place the last time-we dint have to try quite as hard. It shouldnt get worse though-has its moments.
Just when I need my people-where they at?!?!?!?!?

Mean girls & boys

Wellll
Man of the hour now knows that I have 'tooo many feelings' like the girl in mean girls-who btw is not part of their school but just comes to sort out her 'issues'.
He also knows that I have tooo many feelings JUST like her:-{
DAMN the attachment of loo and kitchen by flimsy glass window!!!!
HOPEFULLY he thought I was talking in my mother tongue as he often does when I speak english:-}
Poor soul-gotta freak him out less.

The truth remains-I'm feeling something though I have no idea what.

The Stationary Fantasy

FIRST day of college and all, couldnt help wincing through the whole damn retarded induction...but I live to tell the tale so I guess its way worse in my head.

Was MOST embarassed when-


1) Someone pointedly made sure that I was aware of their dis-interest in me. Even though Im not interested despite good looks and the whole 'sensitive guy' bullshit on.

2) The damn stationery store dissappeared-making it look like it was some kind of sick ploy to spend time together.


It would all be good if I was interested but im not so the confidence in the soul makes me very angry. EVEN though I know they dont take it seriously HMMMPH!
ITS LIKE APPARENTLY LIKING SOMEONE YOU DONT LIKE-ITS HORRIBLE....especially when object of affection sees NO reason for someone to not like them!

FINALLLY!

After a couple of failed attempts to signup....its FINALLY done....and THIS time I got away with not asking people what the hell was wrong with the system-in the process revealing this cyber-identity which kind of defeats the the whole process and concept of blogspot-the CYBESCAPE:-}